Gone-and Its My Fault

Sigh.

One banana

A heaping blob of vanilla ice cream

A long pour of homemade peanut butter hot fudge

Three tablespoons of fresh blackberries

Comfort food ..... for a day with a major loss which was my own fault and made me cry in frustration with myself.

I left a piece of costly photo equipment sitting on my back bumper when I was doing a video in the driveway today. I got distracted and forgot it was there.

Then I ran in the house, changed clothes, and took off in the jeep to go to the bank.

When did I remember? When I was almost home. I kept trying to picture me taking it back in the house but the picture wouldn't come to my brain. Got home and looked everywhere, it's gone.

I figure it fell off the bumper very close to my house on the dirt road. Cars, trucks, motorcycles, people walking and riding horses, all traverse this road. I'm sure someone picked it up but most likely is clueless as to what it is. It won't even work without the parts I still have at home.

I contacted my Mexican and expat neighbors to spread the word I'm offering a reward. Now I can only hope, and drown my sorrows in my comfort food.

I know, I know, this isn't a healthy solution. Tough. I'm pouting and pissed and a banana split is a safer way of dealing with it than destroying something.

Happy Birthday to me.

But wait. Maybe this loss to me can be a blessing to someone else, and in a way I couldn't have imagined. I'm remembering. Give it up. I can't change what happened but what appears to be a bad thing can become a thing of good if I take my selfishness and personal recriminations out of it.

Yes. Tomorrow will be better.